It’s Monday, and I’m half way through one of the five days this week that I have been slightly intimated by. Mostly because they are completely different than my typical schedule and partly because it is the start of a long stretch of weeks like this.
Before any change I get anxious, it’s the way I’m built. The unknown is both completely fascinating and overwhelming to me. As I build my writing career, I often find myself focusing on the next thing. For a long stretch there, I had zero clue as to what I was doing. I’m still learning, but I know way more than I did this time last year—and the me now compared to the me five years ago are two completely different people. Recently I was gathering different pieces of my work for an upcoming meeting, and I actually gave a good look at everything that I’ve accomplished and learned in the last year, and I’m kinda shocked.
Do I still have a long way to some of my ultimate goals? Sure. But, I’m a whole hell of a lot closer to them. Yes, I happen to find myself on a day where I don’t feel hopeless and underqualified at everything that I’m trying. But, these days are important to take note of as well.
This is one of the busiest weeks both work-wise and parenting-wise that I’ve had, possibly ever. I have a cold, at least I think it’s a cold. My glands are swollen,my throat is sore, I’m super lethargic and have a stuffy nose. Saturday I barely got myself off the sofa, making me fall behind on some of the tasks I was hellbent on finishing before this crazy week hit. Yes, it was driving me crazy, but I eventually I gave in and watched a whole bunch of Gilmore Girls and had a big bowl of Pho. Yesterday I was strangely fine, I woke up with energy and did everything I wanted to do the day before and also achieved a pretty awesome father’s day for my husband—with the help of my kiddos of course. But, today after field day with my kids, recording an interview and planning this week’s Elliot I’m whipped and feel rather terrible.
Still, I feel on top of it and strangely calm. Maybe it’s because I’m quite proud of my word output today, or perhaps it’s because I’m growing up, I’m not entirely sure, but I’ll take it gladly. I’m less at my desk today and more sprawled out on the sofa, but it works.
I actually think I’m pulling this off.
And, by “this” I mean life.