a series of pebbles in the sky

 

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about purpose. I’m not looking for answers to things in earnest, but pondering about how one event slides into another. Life belongs only to itself, and all our paths are just different ways to get there. I’m not trying to be morbid and apologize if this concept offends anyone. But, lately, I’ve been learning to cope with a loss, which naturally makes me think of life, and reasons, and what happens after we’re gone.  It’s comforting to think about how we all have this greater purpose. I know I think it is, which is why I continue to believe it.

Learning lessons and growing up can be painful, but without the pain, we aren’t quite real. Feelings are to humans what petals are to flowers. It’s the defining characteristic. We are intense creatures that thrive on emotions. Diving in can hurt. Not too long ago I dove into something with my head and my heart in a way I haven’t in years. This friendship was honestly reminiscent of a high school friendship in a superb book—the kind that gets gobbled up in a weekend. We had been looking for each other, at least, that’s what it felt like at the time.

I’m rambling, and getting a little dark, but that’s okay. I’m just typing.

My point, I guess, living is a force a lot like a wave. Waves can be ridden but rarely fought. It’s best to lean into it.

Translation: Choose to enjoy.
I have come to a decision recently to make myself continuously uncomfortable. It’s astonishingly easy to get into a place where there aren’t any risks taken. Some may call that reaching stasis is a good thing but not in the sense where you stop reaching for anything. Goals are important and without them I become inconstant. Podcasting has been something I have wanted to explore for years. I’m excited to share that with you guys. The first episode will be posted on Thursday, and every Thursday for the foreseeable future.

This is a page in the book where I make myself uncomfortable for my own good.

Too much wanting is no good. Grabbing and reaching for possibilities, now that feels like a better way to roll.

Family and career juggling becomes such a force all on to itself that a place to stand in the safe zone can seem appealing, and I think there were a few years where I was totally and completely okay with that. But at this phase of my life, I’m going to shake myself up in some healthy way. I have goals that I’ve been working toward for a long time. All that is coming to a head and I think that skipping on lily pads is the way to go.
Well, I have more podcast tinkering I want to do before I get crazy tired. I don’t have a large window. Practice. Practice.

Well, that’s it for now. Until next time.

Thanks for reading.
-Jayme

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