I will always miss him. It has become clear that I have a piece of me now that will always belong to that loss. The train sped past without stopping creating a rush of wind to take hold of my scarf. As I grabbed the plaid bottom, I naturally glanced up. Two red balloons flawed methodically overheard. Suddenly, I remembered my feet were cold so kept walking past perfect house after another stack along the side of me. A whisper from the back of my head so discreetly reminded me that coming back wasn’t going to be easy. Leaving was easier than I expected it to be. Coming back on the other hand has been challenging—close to impossible.
It took my nineteen years to escape, fear of being in again was definitely present. An invisible vortex lives in the center of their chaos. I have been apart of it for so long now I don’t truly remember what it was truly like to be under their feet. They are different and wholly unrecognizable. Who knew things would get worse after I left, which led me to wonder if I was a more important part than I thought.
Time is an immense force that isn’t worth fighting. If time gives enough of itself to once event or person, it can make them disappear. Add even more time onto and the glimmers and hints or memory that it once existed can also be erased. My feelings: this feelings scares everyone.
Laughter danced over to me from a bunch of teenagers talking excitedly to see this made me smile.
“We all have to come so far,” a voice behind me said.
I turned around to see a tall guy, around my age with kind, tired eyes, and an easy smile that I recognized instantly as Josh, the only one my heart belonged to.
“Where did you come from?” I asked, not expecting to see him here.
Josh smiled big and wide as he reached over, gently tapping my head, “From in there,” he whispered I closed my eyes, then opened them again even quicker. He was still there, and still staring right at me.
“What do you exactly?” I asked.
“To find out what you’re looking for,” he said, his voice soft and sweet. I felt my shoulders ease back down where they belong.
“Who’s asking?” I grabbed his hand with very little thought.
“Well, you are obviously,” He spoke in a soft tone before vanishing from my site.