I dunno, just because.

Anytime I wake up super alert and start doing stuff right away, I know I’m in for a trying day. Easing into life is something I need but not always allow myself. My two-week streak of hitting all my writing goals came to a halt this Wednesday night. I hit a wall, and now my brain is unwilling to cooperate with my need to create.

I sometimes have an accidental habit of controlling and hindering my creative process without even releasing it. It all boils down to what I call pre-editing. I edit thoughts before they are words on paper. A plan and list of goals is all good, and wholly necessary. But, I still need to allow myself room to create freely. Having ideas and enabling them to come are two different acts I’m finding.

Out of bad ideas often can come good ones.

Sometimes I fall victim to overplanning. I get so caught up in the need-to-dos, that I don’t always make sure there’s room for the let-it-happens. Watching the world and involving myself in the world are also two different things.

My words come best when I’m having fun not clenching and drooling over a todo list at six in the morning like I’m Smeagol bonding with the ring of power.

I let myself get too tense this week. I partly blame this my incredible progress over the last few weeks. I got greedy for more.

At the end of the day, I love what I do and the life I manage fairly well considering I never had an example of anything put together. At the end of the day, I know I got this.

Accepting that I’m only human is easier some days than others. It is what it is. And, whatever it is, it’s more or less all good.

Breathe.

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